I'm broke...

Ugh. Piss poor. I have never been so poor in my life. Looks like I'm looking for a second job tomorrow.

xox$

Denied....

Oh lord. Bill was put in his place last night. Yeah, big time.

Note: This scenario takes place in a gay bar with me, two gay boys and a "straight" guy. Sounds hot, right? Oh, read on.

So, of course, there's this "cute boy". Nothing big, I've just flirted with him a few times. Well, he came to the show this weekend and he said hello and I didn't recognize him, so I just said HELLO and moved on. Then, my cast starts teasing me and saying things like, "He came here just to see you and you totally dissed him!". So I felt bad.

Next, a "straight" cast member in the show told me that the "cute boy" had been hitting on him. Which I was all like no way, because I'm totally cuter than you. So I told him that I could get the "cute boy's" phone number before him. Ummmm, yeah. No, didn't happen. "Cute boy" says I'm more interested in your friend than you. So now, "straight boy" and I are at it. It was on like Donkey Kong.

So, "cute boy #2" comes in. Starts looking at me and smiling. And I was all like, okay, this boy is totally checking me out. He talks to me, blah, blah, blah. Then as he leaves, gives "straight boy" his number.

Now, mind you, I have no intentions of sleeping with these boys I flirted with. I'm a good boy. But, it's okay to flirt. So by the end of last night's festivities, I was bitter. Just plain bitter.

I'm over it now. Probably because I realized that I'm not a 14 year-old girl.

xoxo

I like this word...

Fickle. It's a good one huh?

xoxo

A bad day...

What's the best way to get over a bad day? A night at home alone? Surrounding yourself with friends? And I don't mean, "I got a parking ticket. Boo Hoo!" day, much worse. In the past, I would just go home and sulk waiting for someone to ask me what was wrong so I could unleash the floodgates on them. I dunno. What's wrong? What's right? I need a hobby and a cheeseburger.

What makes me feel good...

If you're trying to impress me memorize this list. :)

1. Water. yummy.
2. Surprises. FYI-please only unscary surprises.
3. Hot tea. I'll take a black oolong please.
4. British music. Dont ask.
5. Traveling. Paris anyone?
6. Smiling. Especially when someone is smiling at you.
7. iTunes/iPods. I think I may have a problem.
8. White trash. Just so fun to hang out with, don't you think?
9. Humor. I'm trying here.
10. Celeb gossip. Stop talking about me.
11. Twins. I wanna make a sandwhich.
12. Underwear. Don't ask.
13. The number 47. It's my favorite answer to most any question.
14. Unexpected gestures. No, the middle finger doesn't count.
15. You. Awww, aren't I sweet?

Thee protest too much...

Speaking of. The show was protested on Saturday night. How exciting! The brochures they were handing out was a 4 page summary of my dialogue in the show. Anyway, they didn't come back on Sunday, but that's the Lords day and it's reserved for prayer and rest. So I'm sure they'll be back next weekend. I mean, a boy can hope, right?

And you know, I've never been a religous person. Spiritual yes. But being in this show, I found myself praying at night. It's weird. I mean, I know praying to meet cute guys isn't especially important on God's "things to do list", but again, a boy can hope, right?

It's easy...

When you look at life through someone else's eyes, it's easy to see your faults. What you've done wrong and how amazing you are.

i'm a slacker...

I've been so busy with work and shows, I haven't been able to post for a while.

Anyway...

NUVO gave us 4.5 out of 5 stars for Southern Baptist Sissies. So yay for that. Now, what to what's really important. PROJECT RUNWAY.

Oh my god, I love Santino even more now. His ice skating outfit was the tackiest, most hideous thing I've seen since i tried to Nair my ass. Seriously, it was bad. ZuZu pulled out her first win and poor Emmett got the boot. And yes, it was the shirt. We also saw the return of former cast member, whateverhisnamewas, dressed as a postal carrier. His momma must be so proud.

And my thought for the day...

Men are like parking spaces. The good ones are either taken or handicapped.

xoxo

Size does matter...

So, sometimes bigger is better. And get you minds out of the gutter, I'm not going there today. Today at lunch, I decided to cheat on my diet and order a regular coke. I told the waiter, get me the biggest Coke you can. Cause girl, I had been so thirsty behind it. And he comes out with this little dixie cup looking glass. I just shot him this look, like did you hear me. He cowered and went back into the kitchen and came out with a carafe of Coke and put it on my table. Big. Yay!

But think about it. Isn't a double cheeseburger better? A super-sized milkshake. A double whiskey and Coke. Hmmmmm, maybe this rule really only works with food. Well, and penises.

xoxo

So there is this new game...

it's really fun. Some drunk bitch taught it to me at the bar last night after the show. It's better played in pairs, but I guess it can be played in groups. What you do is pick someone for the other person to get a phone number from. You have five minutes to get a phone number or you have to buy a drink for the other person. I won.

Oh this is the way I choose to pass them time bored out of my panties at a bar fighting off 21 year drunk girls. Oh yeah! What the fuck is that about. Girls hit on me all the time. Stop it. I mean it. Seriously, I don't come to your Sunday School classes and hit on your Sunday School teacher, do I? Okay, maybe I do. But I have needs too.

Like a ton of bricks...

Doing this shows has made me relaize a few things.

One. I take too much for granted. I have so much going for me in my life. I should be very happy and proud of myself. So many gay men in this world hide form the world in gay bars. And I did, in a way. Well, I did. The past few days, I've really embraced myself. Okay, cue the sappy music I know.

Two. I love being gay. I wouldn't want to be anyone else.

Three. I love people. They can be so fascinating, can't they? I think I'm going to start a collection. But seriuosly, just when you think you know someone, they surprise you. Just when you think you've got them all figured out. BAM. They pull one over on ya. I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had thus far for anything.

Okay, next post won't be so serious. I promise.

xoxo

It's okay to be hated...

In my time, I know there have been people who've hated me. For some reason or another, I sure everyone has been hated by someone else. I know, that sounds horrible. But it's the harsh fact of reality.

That's why this blog entry I'm dedicating to Santino. Project Runways balding, stiletto-wearing, robot-voiced villain. I'm no stranger to being hated. In the past, I've had people hate me. No, it's true. And now that I'm playing the hateful, awful TJ in Southern Baptist Sissies, even more so.

But I digress, this is about Santino. I like him. While others despise him. Why is that? Am I derranged? Nope. I just like people who are real. Yes, he's cruel to other contestants on the show. Yes, he'll stop at nothing to shoot underhanded insults to Michael Kors. But that's the beauty in it. He makes no excuses, he tells it like it is. How Cindy Brady! I like his designs (for the most part) and he's very fun. I mean, that whole Diana bash was hilarious. I am so going to hell for liking this person.

Okay, so being hated is part of life. But who cares. You can't change other people's minds of who you are and why should you. If your Santino, be Santino. Well, I'm Bill. And I'm gonna be Bill, dammit.

Will we be left behind...

The first review is in...great notes from Lisa Gauthier at NUVO.

A harshly realistic look at life for gay people inside the Southern Baptist Church, Southern Baptist Sissies is redemption for Theatre on the Square’s production of Worzel Gummidge. The combination of a great script (by Del Shores, Sordid Lives), a fantastic cast and Ron Spencer’s tight direction make this one of the best shows ever put up by TOTS.

It follows four boys who grow up in Texas as members of a Southern Baptist Church. All four are gay, and all four react to the fact differently. Benny (Thomas Turner) becomes a drag queen; Andrew (Dannon Crews) tentatively explores his sexuality; Mark (Robert Webster) questions the church’s legitimacy; and T.J. (William Skaggs) renounces his homosexuality. The subplot sees two barflies, Leroy (Spencer) and Odette (Juli Inskeep), hanging out in a gay dance bar — their purpose, once revealed, mirrors the main plot’s punch: the damage of a religion that preaches intolerance and self-hatred.

The repercussions of this kind of religion are seen throughout the boys’ trek from pre-adolescence to adulthood: the pain, the doubt, the self-loathing, the confusion. Even Benny, who embraces who he is, has split seconds of fear: Will the Rapture come and he be left behind?

The script weaves together the characters’ stories and inserts Bible passages that support, contradict and call into question the fundamentalists’ teachings against homosexuality. However, anyone with a soul will see this show and feel compassion for these boys turned men — not the need to Bible bash them into denial.

The cast, headed up by Webster, who also acts as narrator, captures the anguish of growing up Southern Baptist and gay, as well as the inherent humor that can be gleaned from such a situation. Singling anyone out for specific kudos would be repetitious, because everyone is in top form here, from the subtle reactions of church pianist Scott McKenzie to the multi-mom Janet Ransdell to the Jerry Falwell-esque preacher Dan Flahive to the outrageous “female illusionist” Turner, and the rest of the guys.

Even the set was a success with multiple floors and a cross that swings down for church scenes, designed by Spencer.

I realize that for most of the people who choose to go see it, the show will be “preaching to the choir,” but if others would give it a chance, I think it could open their hearts to those who pray for God to make it stop, and what they go through when He doesn’t.

Southern Baptist Sissies continues through Feb. 25 at TOTS, 627 Massachusetts Ave. Tickets are $20: 685-TOTS, www.tots.org.

I'm like the only fag...

in the country who hasn't seen BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Well, I'm going to see it tonight with the cast of SBS. Oh yeah, Heath. Hands off my man or I'll bust you upside the head. For reals!

Look for reviews of the show tomorrow.

xoxo

I'm exhausted...

After a great opening weekend, two stading ovations and geting naked six times, I've hit a brick wall. And now, I have a cold. Yuck. I'm staying home to recover.

But I do want to give everyone an update on the show. Friday's near sell out audience was great, but Saturday's show was phonemnal. Our audinence sang along, clapped along, gave their testimony and despised me vocally (It's okay, they're supposed to hate me). Audience members hugged us and thanked us for doing such an inspirational show. If you haven't seen it, you need to. You'll love it.

On another note, I still don't understand boys.

xoxo

It's going to happen...

Here is the new catch phrase for 2006.

"I know, right?"

Here's how it's used:

"Oh my god, I love that bracelet!" says Sally.
"I know, right?" replied Claudette.

or

"You are so fucking hot!" said Seann William Scott
"I know, right?" replied Bill.

It's fun because it's a statement and a question. Loves it!

They love me...they really, really love me...

Well and the rest of the cast too. We kicked the shit out of the show last night. People left the theatre happy and inspired. I truly believe we changed people's lives last night. We couldn't have asked for a better audience! If you were there, thank you for going on this journey with us. The show means so much to us. Review should come out next week. When they do, I'll post them here.

Thanks for all the support!

xoxo

And away we go...

Leaving for stage debut. I'll post all of the juicy details here tomorrow!

xoxo

All the...small things...

I am so fucking smart. Today I realized how important small things really are. You know, when you get a call from someone for no reason just to say hi. Or someone leaves a note in your box just to tell you hi or good job. I really should have put this in my New Year's resolution entry. But from now on, I'm gonna be all over the small things.

I've had a flood of "good luck"s and "break a leg"s today since my show opens tonight. Thank you to everyone. You have NO idea what that means to me. You all are so important to me in so many ways and each of you have taught me something.

All right, I'll stop the mushy stuff bitches. Now, let's get naked.

xoxo

Another preview of SBS

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060106/ENTERTAINMENT01/601060312&SearchID=73231741955785

Show opens tonight! Preview night went well. Although I did get hit in the head with a giant cross and a sliding wall.

xoxo

This just in...

See a preview of my new show.

http://www.gayindy.org/2006/index.php?id=200601021

Poor Guadalupe...

Guad got the boot last night in the most recent episode of my new addiction...Project Runway. That bitch Nicky Hilton showed no mercy on her ugly green dress with socks and flowers on it. I love it when they just blast these people on the runway. Makes you feel so much better about yourself, doesn't it? But really, if you think about it. They gave her the boot because she dared to go over the top, to be really creative, to go against the grain. So what if Nicky was going to show up on a "Worst Dressed" list. She probably would anyway. She's not going to get press anyway because she doesn't do anything. The "Worst Dressed" list is her only hope. That bitch needs Guadalupe. Mark my words, she'll show up to the new Marina del Rey Wendy's opening in one of her dresses. MARK MY WORDS BITCHES!

xoxo

Much needed...

After a whirlwind few weeks of holidays, travel, dates, work and rehearsal, I took a personal day today to just relax and get myself rested. Not much going on today other than watching my stories, tanning and working out.

Don't forget! Project Runwawy comes on tonight. Oh yeah, and this little thing called Southern Baptist Sissies opens on Friday! Hope you can make it!

xoxo

I'm a star....

Just in case you were wondering...I'm a star. For reals.









I got my headshots back. Don't I look pretty?

xoxo

Cloud Nine...

My date went really well. Extremely well. I didn't think I had it in me and I'm so startled that the first person I'm dating after a long-term relationship went so well, We had our second date last night and it was great too. I forgot how awesome it is to fee l like this in that early stage of getting to know someone. But, I don't want to jinx anything either. He's the weird thing. Say, we do really hit it off. And say, we really like each other. He has to leave in late February for his job. I know, right. Sad.

Anyway, I have to do this right. Take it slow. Figure out what i want. Be who I am and make no excuses for it. But I still can't stop thinking about him.

Until next time...

xoxo