Coming soon...

I've decided without a doubt, I'll be taking my show on the road to LALA land by the end of the year. Yes, it's a sad day for fags all over Indianapolis. I know, right? This town is just way too small for me. And, I rather be in a cool city being poor, than a small city being poor.

So now, my quest is moolah! I have to save up for the big trek across the country. Sponsors for the trek are now being accepted.

xoxo

A new day...

So the folks saw the show and Billy has a new car! What a great way to start my week.

We had a smaller audience, but I was so empassioned (is that a word?) I gave a performance of a lifetime. I drew from a lot of personal situations with my family to get me where I needed to be. They both laughed...and cried...which I wasn't expecting. I could tell they were really proud and my dad said this is something everyone needs to see. He got the message!!!! I'm proud of them and to be part of the show. Afterwords, I took my dad to his first gay bar. What a night!

xoxo

The folks...

Mom and dad are coming up today to see "Sissies". A full report tomorrow. It's probably been 20 years since my parents have seen me naked. Now, they get to see me masturbate with a guy on stage and become a stripper. Yikes!

xoxo

Blast from my past...

After the Frank run-in on Friday, yesterday I had another "ex"perience.

I got a friend request on MySpace (by the way, I'm addicted) from this really pretty girl. And I'm all like, "who the fuck is this girl?". So, I clicked on her profile and it's my ex-girlfriend. Yes, you heard right. I did date girls. For reals. So we've traded emails a few times now and she's doing really well for herself. Educated, living in a great city. I'm very proud of her.

Now, I'm all like is this "ex" week. Is everyone else I've ever dated gonna see/talk/email me this week? Fun stuff, eh?

xoxo

Closure...

Last night, at the play, I gave a performance of a lifetime. It was my best to date. I was so emotional during the show that I actually had to cut myself off from crying so hard because it wouldn't have been believable for the audience. It was weird, I couldn't quite figure out why I was so emotional.

After the show, we thank our audience as they leave. I get comments all over the board. From "Nice ass" to "you changed my life". Last night, I started to shake someone's hand and they pulled away. I looked up and didn't recognize the person, I was sort of in shock. Why would this person pull away from me? Was it TJ? Did I affect him that much? I looked to my right and there stood Frank (the ex-husband). It was obvious, this was his new boyfriend. After about a minute of appropriate dialogue. Frank turned and walked away. I asked him to stick around until I was done so that I could say hi and meet his new beau. However, when I was finished. He was gone.

It was a lot like our relationship. I never expected him to stay even though I asked. What he doesn't know, is that he was really the one who inspired me to act. I will say he did support me in that facet of my life.

Anyway, I felt a sense of closure last night. Seeing him face to face with his new boyfriend helped close that chapter of my life. And the great thing is, I don't feel bitter...at all.

xoxo

I need a day off...

Getting sick. Ugh. I haven't had a day off in a month and a half. Hitting a brick wall. Can't write complete sentences.

xo

Spoiler Alert...

So this fabu little blog called QUEERTY has some news on the Project Runway finale. If you don't want to know what happens do not click here.

Talk to me...

Most people learn to communicate from their parents. I had a good childhood, not great, but not bad. But, I don't remember communicating with my parents all that much. I mean, I have good relationships with my parents, but those have developed more recently than anything. Most of my communication skills were learned through a past relationship. Which, for your info, is not a good thing. I was impressionable when I started a major relationship that lasted almost ten years. And, I was taught to ignore. Ignore what makes you uncomfortable or what you don't want others to know. Now, I'm not retarded, I know that it's wrong. I blame only myself for acting like an idiot in past relationships and not communicating well.

Now, at 30, I look at myself differently. Like a new person that I can mold into what I want to be. But I'm 30! Ugh! How'd that happen? Nonetheless, communicating and be honest are what I'm striving for right now. I want to be happy with my life and myself.

xoxo

Mending...

Sometimes a free shot and cuttin' a rug takes care of everything.

xoxo

That's what friends are for...

So last night a new friend and I went out on the town. Shooo, we tore it up and had a great time. That aside, I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. To me, friendship is unconditional love. Be there for someone no matter what happens. Right? Many would agree. However, after my breakup, I've lost friends, for whatever reason. It makes me sad.

Sniff. But it makes me realize too that everything happens for a reason. I've very lucky right now to have a group of friends that cares for me and supports me. It's just not the group I started out with. WHo is too good to throw away a friend?

Now, where did i put those chicken fingers!

xoxo

Very bad things...

So I went and saw HOSTEL last night. Okay, I like scary movies. I live for them. There is just something about a good scary movie that actually kind of turns me on. I know, I'm a sick bastard, but in some weird sort of way, it's true.

Anyway, back to HOSTEL. My date and I went to Hollywood Bar & Filmworks, which is this cute little theatre where you can drink, smoke and order yummy foods. Not really thinking about the content of the movie, I ordered my food and beverage and began watching the film. Thirty minutes into the film I finished my last bite of my food at just the right time. Someone being hacked apart with a power drill. Yeah, I know. Sick. The film wasn't scary, nor suspenseful. It was just gross. Lots of gore, lots of boobies, lots of anti-gay remarks. I actually started to feel nausious and light-headed. I had to go to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. It was that bad.

I want my money back, my food back and the two hours of my life that are rightfully owed to me.

xoxo

Get to class..

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

Apparently, according to some silly quiz. I'm Lisa from "Saved by the Bell".
Hmm, who knew?

xoxo

How do you say delovely...

I recently started dating again. Much to my surprise, I'm really bad at it. Either I take it way too fast, or way too slow. I can't seem to find a middle ground. In most cases, I find myself backing away for guys because I don't want to get attached to them or because I'm not looking for something serious right now.

It's been so long since I remember knowing that someone is "right" for me. I've forgotten what that feels like. And I know that in some cases, the thrill of getting to know someone can be confused for "extreme like". Is that even an emotion?

Anyway, my point is, how are you supposed to know? How do you know if you've found someone that you can start a relationship with?

xoxo