I'm a big boy now...

I have my first real date since the ending of my long-term relationship tonight. I feel like I'm 18 again and I'm going to prom. I have butterflies in my stomach and my nerves are a wreck. I'm just a mess. I hope I'm charming.

Last night the entire cast of SISSIES went out and sang karaoke. We drank and shared stories and really bonded as a cast. It was great. I finally feel like I'm where I want to be in my life.

Happy New Year to everyone. This will be my last post of 2005. Be safe and toast to me!

xoxo

Favorite Things...2005

Oprah does it. Now I'm doing it. Here are my favorite things for 2005

1. PROJECT RUNWAY. On BRAVO, (TV for gay men)they have this little gem called PROJECT RUNWAY. Supermodel Heidi Klum is the ringmaster where they search for America's next top designer. Last season was great, this season shows promise, but lacks the sparkle without contestants Jay and Austin...well Wendy too.



2. H&M. Long gone are the days of driving to Chicago for affordable, cheaply made clothes. Now I have an H&M right here in my own backyard. Hooray for Euro-trash!



3. THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS. Not only is my friend Nichole the lead singer, I just love saying pussy. I know, stop it, right?


4. COWBOY BOOTS. Thank you Jessica Simpson.



5. SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT. Stop calling me. I'm not going out with you. It would never work out between us. I'm a big star and you are just below me.



6. AVENUE Q. One of the most orignal and hilarious shows on Broadway. Buy the soundtrack. You'll skeet yourself.

I'm having a good day...

Good morning star shine, the earth says hello. :)

I like this feeling I have right now. I can't remeber how long it's been since I've felt like this. Quite a while actually. Things are going really well for me. Professionally and socially. Flirting is fun.

Moreover, I'm realizing what I've done wrong in past relationships. Therapy helps, but time is helping more. I feel like I finally know what I want out of life. What I need that will make me happy. You know? It's like a "god light" has shown down on me and helped me through this all of the sudden.

There are so many options open for me. So many things I can do and directions I can go in. I want to explore them all. From now on, I'm not turning down an opportunity to grow or learn. Life is far too short.

Until next time...

xoxo

I'm new at this okay.....

I've decided to open that Pandora's Box. Dating. I'm putting myself out there. See what's there for me. It's not easy. You, know that beginning stage of getting to know somebody is so fun. I miss that. I haven't done that in 10 years. Jeeez, I'm old.

So, I did meet someone. Now, I'm trying to figure out what I need to do. How to handle myself. How to project myself. Am I thinking way to hard about this? Or is that a good thing.

I'm the little engine. Just watch me.

xoxo

i should be sleeping...

but, i can't. had such a practice. Okay going to try and sleep now. I love it.

xoxo

A little better...

Today I saw my ex on the street walking back to work. It was weird. He felt so uncomfortable with what happened last weekend. I could tell. So antsy. But, nonetheless, a good conversation. It would good to see him and he said I looked gaunt. How nice!?

Two weeks and counting to the premiere of Southern Baptist Sissies at TOTS. Tonight is our photoshoot and I get to be in a g-string. Horray!

I also got my headshots taken by world-renowned photographer Lydia Whitehead. Should be some good shots in there. When I get them digitally, I'll post some here.

Be safe...xoxo

Loves it. 

New Year's Resolutions

Just to let the 4 people who read this, I can't spell for shit. So, with that out of the way, here are my New Year's resolutions:

1. Excersice more. I started excerising and eating well for this new show I'm in and I've dropped like 10 lbs.
2. Think positive. I tend to get down on myself for things that are out of my control.
3. Go with it. I've been stale for a while since my recent break-up. I need to get out and meet people or I'll end up with twelve cats and bell collection.
4. Smile. It's easy and contagious.
5. Talk to my family more. Nuff said.
6. Listen to more music. Makes me fell super when I find I new song I can get down to.
7. Write/read more. I've started writing a play. I just need to keep at it and make it something good.

I'm heading out today for Skaggs Ranch for the holdays so I will be out of the communications belt for a while. Happy Holidays.

xoxo

I'm dreaming of a white...man

I just realized what all my single friends had been complaining about for years. Holidays are designed for couples. It sucks. I remember thinking, "What the hell are they complianing about! It's Christmas.". But now, I understand.

How has this world we've created for ourselves reward people who are single. Carrie Bradshaw couldn't even figure this one out. I find myself wishing I had someone to get over my single slump. At the same time, do I really want to take some one on that journey when I'm not emotionally ready for it. I like being by myself, I do. It's just that, it's hard to get past right now.

When you think about all of your experiences you've been through in life, each one happens for a specific reason, right? However, the ones that hurt the most are the hardest to figure out. I don't try to guess why our hower power does what it does to us. Learning is important to me.

Blah, blah, blah. Could I try to be more pitiful?

Yep.

xoxo

Emotionally spent.

I haven't written in a while. Recently, i was added to the cast of Southern Baptist Sissies and it's been a whirlwind ever since. Practice almost every night. It's a rough show. I have to play someone the complete and opposite of me. And he's so rigid and void of love. I LOVE IT.

This weekend was a rollercoaster too. My ex-husband brought his new toy to my comedy show. Yeah! According to first-hand accounts they were being a little intimate. Right in front of me while i was perorming! I wish he would have had those balls when we were going out. Then, I ran into them again on Saturday. This time, he made sure I saw the "show". It was a pretty digusting display of childishness.

Needless to say, I'm using my experience in my character who is full of rage and anger. Shouldn't be too hard!

xoxo.

The weather outside is frightful

So you'd never know, but someone is making remixes of christmas songs. Yeah, I know. This will be my first christmas by myself so I'm really trying to change things up by doing different stuff. I put up my christmas tree to Jingle Bells Remixed. I did it fast.

Can't wait for the 3-6" of snow tomorrow.

I'm a cold person

So, I realize it's almost winter. But does it have to be this darn cold outside? Seriously, if it were going to be 2 degrees outside, we should just have a blizzard. Like 12 feet of snow. That way I can stay home and watch my stories.

I did an interview today with IMC (Indy's Music Channel) about our upcoming christmas show bas on A Charlie Brown Christmas. It'll be fun, and of course I get to play the self-loathing, self-hating Charlie Brown. It's a role I was made for.